Letting Go...

So, 2010 has been a bit of a shocking year when it comes to love for me and my best friends.. nearly all of us have loved and lost.

6 months ago, on June 28th.. I got royally dumped by the love of my life - after 4 years together, a home and everything.  I wanted to marry him. He went a little off-ish for several days, then announced he was leaving me. I was absolutely heart broken. Not only did I lose him, but I also lost my home, his family and several friends. Within a few of weeks of us breaking up and him reassuring me there was nobody else, he moved miles away with his new girlfriend. With the help of my wonderful Mum and best friends, I got though it, yet I still love him and miss him.

Over the last 18 months, I became reacquainted with an old male friend, we became close.. Just friends. He was my rock when I split up with my ex, he gave me a male perspective on things, kept me grounded and made me feel special again. Him and his girlfriend split up a few months after and the inevitable happened.. In fact it happened for nearly 4 months. Neither of us wanted a relationship and we also said we'd be friends first.. no matter what.

Seeing each other occasionally turned into me spending 4 days and nights in a row at his and before you know BOOM... I'm in love with him, but I didn't tell him until today. We made a promise to each other in the beginning, that if anybody else came on the scene, we would tell the other before taking it any further.

He's been a bit weird over the past few weeks but then he'd snap out of it and everything would seem ok, however, I knew something was wrong.. Last night I was in a right state, tears, hysterics the lot.. I told him I thought we needed a chat and so the chat happened.. It turns out, he broke the one promise we made, he loves me but not in the same way, he still wants to be friends etc. Now here I am back to where I was 6 months ago.. To the day!

The girls rallied round, spent the afternoon with me, crying, laughing and just being there for me.. We then decided to go for a drive (yes we drove past his house.. twice, he wasn't in :( Stalking hell!) and then we had this crazy idea.. We went to ASDA, found a helium balloon kit and a Sharpie marker. We drove to a dark, remote field, blew up the balloons, wrote messages to the men in our lives who did us wrong in 2010 and finished them all "(name) I am letting you go" we also dedicated a whole balloon to the year 2010, because lets be honest.. it was a shit year!

And then we let them go. It was a moment filled with lots of emotions but left us all feeling better about ourselves and somewhat liberated!

I would recommend doing something like this to anybody who needs to let go of something in their past that still effects you in a little way, every single day! x